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Song of Myself - 2.10.08Song of Myself (2.10.08)
by Kristina Mosquito
Here I am, vulnerable and exposed, lying in my figurative hospital bed, again.
The sheer white of everything in sight is glaring and mean, perhaps even scowling.
I've long since quelled my fear of not being able to feel anything at all.
Memories flood into my mind, much like tears have flowed into my eyes.
I've known heartbreak after heartbreak from family, friends, strangers, and lovers.
Grasp my hand tighter! Reminiscence has never been so bittersweet.
I used to be the earth beneath your feet; the soil you trampled on without hesitation.
My lips were sewn shut with crude little stitches, in a row of five lonely X's.
I am no longer the tool you carelessly used, and cast away at the first sign of rebellion.
I've since then been a warrior before a woman, or maybe a woman before a warrior,
as if there were ever really a difference between the two throughout all of history.
I ride into battle, valiant, and stain my blade with your blood before
mechanici want to kiss every aching wound you have,
bandage your heart every time it bleeds,
and patch up your mind over and over
because not a single tear deserves to fall
from your brandy-drenched eyes
but this dripping heart of mine can only feel
and the healing honey words it flames get caught
in the back of my throat and on the roof of my mouth
so i only have these passionate guttural cries
to tell you that i care all too much
and in order to fix you up again,
i would need to tear myself to tatters
and trade all of my working parts
for your leftover, fading pieces
but i just haven’t figured out how.
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